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The Pain of Betrayal

I’m sitting here today writing this post not knowing for sure where I am going to end up at the end of the post. There’s a sadness in my heart because of a situation which happened resulting in deceit, betrayal and loss.

But, for some reason I know in my heart the post is not about this situation. It’s about my attitude about the situation… about wanting somebody to pay. It’s about my attitude totally not being a Godly attitude. It’s no surprise to me God prompted a dear friend of mine to tell me to pick up the book, “Culture of Honor” by Danny Silk. God knew I was going to face this difficult situation and prepared me to respond Godly through what I have learned so far from what I have read. .

Here’s what I have learned about myself.

I would like to believe I am a “grace” person, not a “law” person, but I can measure where I am at, on this pendulum swing between grace and law, by the way I respond when confronted with sin in another person. What happens to me when I am presented with deceit in another person? Does honor and trust go out the window? Do I no longer hold this person as a person of value? Do I have “rules” set up in my relationships whereby I can choose to value you or not based on your following of my “rules”? If I answer “yes” to any of these questions, I’m a “law” person… not a “grace” person. Okay… so in my defense, some of you might be saying, “Hey! Wait a minute! Somebody’s gotta pay for the wrong they have done”. Someone did, remember? JESUS PAID IT ALL! And by accepting His payment for MY Sin, I have entered the “no condemnation zone”. Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus”. That’s not only for me (the “no condemnation part”), but also for the person who was deceitful. I’ve never been given the authority in my life to “condemn”… only to “love”. I cannot be the judge and jury in this situation and stamp a “no value” label on this person, until they “redeem” themselves and regain my “trust”… which is probably why Jesus felt it was important to put that “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you” verse in the Bible. (Luke 6:28)

So what is my lesson?

Actually… two lessons the Lord is teaching me from this situation…

The first lesson… I am a vessel of Love… a vessel of honor… whom God has equipped and empowered to show love and honor to someone who has betrayed me… who has lied to me. There is something deeper in their life which caused them to respond to me in deceit. God wants to set them free and he has placed me in this situation to bring life, freedom and forgiveness, not pronounce judgment on them and be an executioner of punishment... to withhold my love and honor from them. The question is… “Am I willing to be used of God to introduce this person to a life of freedom by responding to them in love and honor?”

The second lesson… allow the Lord to search my heart and make sure I am being a man of my word… no deceit… no misrepresentations of the truth… a man of honor. If He finds any measure of deceit in my life, I must confess it and allow the Lord to remove it from my heart. This isn’t about condemnation… It’s about God using this situation to bring me to a higher level of Godliness and Holiness… to bring Him honor and glory in every aspect of my life.

Love… Honor… Honesty… Integrity…

So… I now know where God was taking me in this week’s post…. love… honor… honesty… integrity… all integral parts of being the man of God He has destined for me to be. Thank you, Lord, for loving me and teaching me what you value in every situation I face.

Luke 6:27-31 But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. Give to anyone who asks; and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Do to others as you would like them to do to you.

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